Ron Jeremy's one-eyed monster is on the loose. While making a porno up in the mountains, an alien spacecraft spots Ron's member and decides it needs to have it. The aliens send down a shaft of light which infests Ron's mind with thoughts of sex and depravity. Since Jeremy's mind is always infested with sex and depravity, the beam goes to work on detaching Ron's unit from his body. The one-eyed monster makes a run for it so it can go to work on impregnating all willing and unwilling females. The rest of the crew will have to figure out a way to stop Ron Jeremy's alien pecker from killing them all.

“Diary of a Wimpy Kid” is a movie based on the best selling books by Jeff Kinney. The movie is about Greg Heffley ( Zachary Gordon) a sixth grader who keeps a journal (not a diary) about his first year in Junior High School. He is not the most popular kid in school, but his desire is to become the most popular kid in school no matter what. After many failed attempts to overcome his nerd and geek status he learns that the best thing is to be yourself and to be loyal to your friends.

It is a Psammead, an ancient, ugly and irritable sand fairy the children find one day on a secret beach at their uncles mansion. It grants them one wish per day, lasting until sunset. But they soon learn it is very hard to think of really sensible wishes, and each one gets them into unexpected difficulties. Magic, the children find, can be as awkward as it is enticing.

Michael Youn is an underrated talent and seems to be a great buddy. That's why I enjoy very much his career and I was happy to discover his new comedy with the teen.

Just a few weeks ago Dimension Films announced their intentions to remake Children of the Corn. This past weekend a remake of Children of the Corn premiered on television. I thought to myself, wow; that was fast. But - no, this is not the Dimension remake of Children of the Corn. This is Syfy's remake of Children of the Corn and the man reaping this corn is Donald P. Borchers, one of the producers of the 1984 film version as well.

How entertaining is this rendition of Children of the Corn? Good cinematography. It hits the right grim tone. Otherwise, about as enjoyable as getting a popcorn seed stuck in your teeth.

If you're a fan of The Onion like I am, you will go into this movie expecting 80-to-90 minutes of top notch, zany and edgy humor. The way they're able to construct laugh-out-loud stories in their podcasts and newspaper on a consistent basis you would expect a funny movie to be something they could do with their eyes closed, both hands tied behind their backs, with a pack of wild wolves gnawing at their feet as babies scream for their attention. However, the main problem with The Onion Movie is the fact that the main plotline is essentially secondary to their attempt to make you laugh through a series of skits, commercials and fake news stories.

Tales Of The Riverbank may have begun its life as a black-and-white television series for children first made in 1959 by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and redubbed (by Johnny Morris) for British viewers, but its lineage can be traced back at least as far as that perennial children's favourite, The Wind In The Willows, first published in 1908, where anthropomorphised creatures were also to be found adventuring along an idyllic river. Two subsequent series of Tales Of The Riverbank (retitled Hammy Hamster, after the show's main character) appeared in the Seventies and the Nineties respectively, and although they were now filmed in colour, they still adhered closely to the original concept (live animals 'wrangled' to move about miniature props and sets, and synced with human voices).

This fascinating drama puts us in the mind of a deeply flawed person and makes us sympathise completely with her. This is no mean feat, especially when she does some seriously irrational things. But Scott Thomas is so good in the role that she really makes us care.

In southern France, Suzanne (Scott Thomas) is a wife and mother who, bored with her bourgeois life, decides to go back to work. But when beefy builder Ivan (Lopez) arrives to work on her home office, she starts flirting with him. This eventually turns into a lusty affair, and she decides to leave her husband Samuel (Attal) and teen children (Vidal and Broom). But exchanging financial stability for passion isn't easy; when money runs short Samuel tries to exploit her need for security. And things get very messy indeed.

A spoilt LA brat being shipped off to an English boarding school for a spot of discipline and coming-of-age, may not on the face of it sound that the most appealing (or original) premise in the world. However this transatlantic teen romp is surprisingly watchable (after a clunky start), thanks to a neat script and directing.

The spoilt brat in question is 16 year old Poppy (Emma Roberts) who is uprooted from her pampered, shallow LA life by her despairing father (Aidan Quinn) and shipped off to the foreign world of early curfews, stern matrons, mandatory lacrosse, endless rain and various other English stereotypes under the watchful eye of headmistress Natasha Richardson.

George, a lonely and fatalistic teen whos made it all the way to his senior year without ever having done a real day of work, is befriended by Sally, a popular but complicated girl who recognizes in him a kindred spirit.

This half-hour British production faithfully recreates author Raymond Briggs' classic children's holiday tale, in which a young boy's snowman magically comes to life and whisks him away to the North Pole to meet Santa Claus. Appropriate for very young children, the film has no dialogue, relying instead upon its images to tell the tale.

When an awkward teen meets his favorite porn star, whose career peaked in the 80s, an unexpected friendship follows as the young man gets a glimpse inside Monica Velours current life as a single mom struggling to make ends meet.

So it's come to this. A musical adaptation of "Legally Blonde" wasn't enough; we now have a direct-to-video sequel that reimagines the franchise in the tone of a Disney Channel sitcom. Oh, my.

The film is "Legally Blondes," note the plural. Camilla and Rebecca Rosso are teenage blonde twins known to Disney fans for their recurring roles on the network's horrid series "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody." Here, they play Annie and Izzy Woods, Elle's teen cousins from England (seriously); they've come to Beverly Hills to stay at Elle's mansion, shop at Rodeo Drive, ride in Hummer limos, and attend a lush private academy.

Korean-American martial arts actor Pak Ho-sung, who played “Liu Kang” in the first two MORTAL KOMBAT video games and was one of Jackie Chan’s main opponents in DRUNKEN MASTER 2 is finally getting to see one of his long-delayed indie action movies released to the public. I missed reporting on it earlier but back on February 10th, Lionsgate released writer-director Wayne Kennedy’s FIST OF THE WARRIOR to DVD in North America.

In this pop culture landscape, the panic that once swept over us post 9/11 has all been eased by an inexhaustible wealth of diversion. Why worry about the tensions in the Middle East when you can watch The Daily Show in the palm of your hand? Why worry about diminished security all around us when you can “Like” a FB page snickering at shots of boobs and willies taken with the new high tech airport X-ray. Yeah, we all have it pretty good, as long as someone else is taking care of them nasty terrorists “over there.”

But, what if something happens right here… in your neighborhood? That’s the white-knuckle predicament posed in the Brit horror/thriller Salvage. On the morning of Christmas Eve, a suburban Liverpool neighborhood is thrown into turmoil when an unidentified storage container washes up on the shoreline nearby.