It sounds like a can't-miss concept: a Disney movie about a guy who tells wonderful, fantastic bedtime stories that actually come true in real life. And when the guy is Adam Sandler, how can this possibly be a bad movie? Aren't you buying tickets online for your entire family right now, even as you read about this possible cinematic land of delights? Except that watching Bedtime Stories is about as delightful as peeking into your Christmas stocking and finding it empty except for a few lint-covered peppermints.

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The perfect movie for Christmas is the surprisingly progressive P.S. I Love You. Despite drawbacks and more clichés than an office Christmas party, this romance starring Hilary Swank works on every level—and it hits home for the holidays.

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Boy, this is the last time I listen to my penis for movie selection advice.

Dee Twiddle (Pamela Anderson) and Dawn St. Dom (Denise Richards) are two morons who strike up a friendship during an airplane flying lesson. Bopping around Canada looking for work, the duo happen upon a mob hit carried out by the deadly assassin, The Cat (Emmanuelle Vaugier). Assumed by organized crime stooges (John Farley and Kevin Farley) and Canadian law enforcement officials to be the perpetrators of the murder, Dee and Dawn head to a Niagara Falls casino, where they get mixed up with a crime boss named Mr. Wong. On their tail are The Cat and her partner The Kit (Meghan Ory), who aim to murder Dawn and Dee so they can receive full credit for their crimes.

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Have we grown this cynical? Is the world in 2008 so devoid of intellectual pursuits that the story of a couple of slap happy serial killers demands attention as revisionist art? That's the bottom line you have to believe if you read the reviews of Michael Hanek e's 1997 effort Funny Games. Called everything from a taut little thriller to a complete deconstruction of the taut little thriller genre, this Austrian Desperate Hours caused some decent art house buzz a decade ago. Now, George Sluzier style, Haneke has taken his Cache cred and cashed in with a Hollywood remake. The results -- a beat for beat remake of Games, this time with an English-speaking cast. A decade has done little to change the story, or the incredibly repugnant way it is told.

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CLOSED FOR WINTER, which is based on a novel by Georgia Blain, unfolds around Semaphore Beach, Adelaide, where Elise Silverton, played by NATALIE IMBRUGLIA, lives with her eccentric mother, Dorothy, (DEBORAH KENNEDY) and is still profoundly affected by the disappearance of her older sister, Frances,
(DANIELLE CATANZARITI), from the beach 20 years earlier.

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The movie begins in 1901 in the town of Halletsville, Texas. Some kids are killed in a schoolhouse by a psychopath. We cut to present day and a funeral. Tyler Jensen(Derek Lee Nixon) is mourning the death of his grandmother. He is remembering her as she was. His college friends are there and they meet outside and chat. So,Tyler's ex-girlfriend, April(Katie Fountain) shows up and tries to get back with him. Tyler decides to go and stay at his grandmother's house for the weekend. He remembers the house from when he was young as his cousin died there in an accident.

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Robert Duvall will turn 80 next year, a fact that hardly seems possible since he's one of those men for whom the term fit as a fiddle should have been invented. But it's been nearly half a century since his first notable role as Boo Radley in 1962's To Kill a Mockingbird. In his latest film, Get Low, Duvall plays a suitably ancient hermit named Felix Bush who senses death's approach and decides to stage and attend his own funeral. Hidden behind an enormous beard that looks to have blossomed and gone to seed long ago, Duvall seems old — but when Felix emerges from a haircut and clean shave, audience members could be forgiven for wondering if the actor is too young to be believable in the role.

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On the way to visit friends, my husband and I try to work out how many John Lennon/Beatles biopics we've seen between us. Quite a few, it turns out. Before we've pulled out of the street, we've counted four: The Hours and Times, Backbeat, Two of Us, Nowhere Boy.




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Road Kill, an Australian import directed by Dean Francis, was originally called Road Train, a title that would have little significance to American audiences. It is violent, blood-soaked, and—at times—revolting, but after a somewhat goofy start, it grabs our attention and forces us to see it through.

Four moody teenagers (two boys and two girls, of course) are touring the Australian outback in an SUV when a “road train” (a huge truck with two trailers) comes up behind them, rams the back of their vehicle, then passes them. For some reason they think catching up to the vehicle, passing it, and screaming at the driver that he’s a bastard will settle the score. The driver doesn’t agree, and again repeatedly rams them until he sends their vehicle flipping over off the road. Perhaps if they had noticed the three-headed-dog ornament they would not have been so cavalier.

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Before I get to the actual review, I just wanted to share a little story with you. On Thursday, with You Don’t Know Jack on the way from Netflix, I decided to play a little joke in my chemistry class because it was a lab day and we would all be wearing our lab coats for the first time. Looking like a doctor with it on, I made a name tag and wrote “Dr. Kevorkian” on it, and stuck it in my chest pocket. Everyone got a kick out of it, including the professor, but just because they thought it was funny that I was pretending to be a doctor, and not about what the name tag said. Excluding my two lab partners, who knew what I was going to do, not one person in the class recognized the name, and whenever someone squinted their eyes to read what the name said, I would say it out loud, hoping to set off a light bulb in someone’s head, but no one noticed. For the two hours I was there, my real last name could have been Kevorkian for all they knew. Needless to say, I died a little inside (no pun intended).

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Pianist Nina (Juliet Stevenson) and cellist Jamie (Alan Rickman) played together and loved together. When they weren't making music with each other, they made love. It was an idyllic romantic and musical partnership, and when Jamie dies, Nina takes it very hard. The condolences of friends and relatives don't help much when everything in the apartment they shared reminds her of him.

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A unique experience in combining religion, and science...to realize that God is within each individual, regardless of faith.

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